Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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