her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
