so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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