my mouth tastes like poor choices
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
