At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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