I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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