so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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