i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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