He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He felt like a one man threesome
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
