The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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