I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
