Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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