dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm too high and old for this...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
