i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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