If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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