Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My bed smells like the plague
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
