I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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