she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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