we have officially lost it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
