I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
