Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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