Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
