Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
