dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I want to fling myself into the sun
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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