Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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