:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
