if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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