So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
