I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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