just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
