omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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