my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
