the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
