I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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