You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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