Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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