people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
