Pants 0. Shit 1.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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