Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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