So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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