Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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