Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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