The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
