theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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