Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
