my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
