Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
