my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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