Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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