it hurts more in the daytime
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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