last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
